This is not about drag queens, Type A personalities, passive-aggressive tendencies or Freudian Oedipal complexes.

No, it’s much simpler. And it’s all in the name of fashion. Because as moms we have to wear the pants (at least in winter).

So like Usher, I have a confession. I suffer from a chronic weakness called fashion envy. When I see certain names: Vince. Oscar. Chloe. Vivienne Westwood – it’s an emotional affair. And when they’re flaunted by bitchy-looking city girls’ with disposable incomes, it enacts a deep-seeded loathing. To get revenge, I fictionalize these girls as villains, catalog-ing their traits away for when the day comes and I can write them to the page. That mythical day when I can write fiction all day long.

But until I write a book that’s optioned into a Paramount blockbuster, or invent the next million-dollar idea on the Shark Tank, I’ll remain a flash sale shopper. An undercover Internet sleuth. Scouring the pages of hautelook, Gilt, Ruelala, Shopstyle and Milliondollarbabes for structures and silhouettes that speak to me.

Kinda like this:

Meet the pants that changed my life in five seconds flat. Yes, it was a Tuesday in a San Francisco Madewell changing room when my self image shifted (just a little).

I fell so deeply in love with these pants (especially since they were 50% off) that I purchased them in Deep Olive AND a hip Mustard hue. They sit low but not too low (no plumber’s crack – thank you). Plus, they’re stretchy enough to pick up toys from every angle off the floor, and allow me to play Twister when Milo starts hucking food off his tray.

Right now, depending on when you see this post, they are on Lyst for $30 off.

So now I bop around town looking casual chic, mixing and matching to my heart’s content. (Next on my list – fitted tops to camouflage my kangaroo pouch.)

As you see, slowly but surely I’m figuring out how to wear the pants. Be the boss. Get my sexy back. And it’s only been two years since the little man was born. Only!

As a mom, is there a fashion find you’ve come to love? Please let me now. I’d really love to know.

Until then,

I’m a little less frumpy than I was yesterday.

That ‘Around the Way Girl’