My husband Dean is a voracious reader of political thrillers. Names like Vince Flynn and Brad Thor line our living room shelves. When I got in to watching Homeland obsessively, chewing on my fingertips, he said “you know, this shit really happens.” CIA black-ops, D.C. cover-ups, assassinations and assets in the Middle East. Before he died, Vince Flynn described it all in detail. His D.C. sources left confidential.

But now at home, we have our own little mission underway: Operation FCT. In less than two weeks, we’ll have undergone a frozen embryo transfer, which doesn’t involve just transferring embryos into my body, but transferring them from an entirely separate clinic in San Jose to our new clinic in San Francisco. The Stork Service (yes, their real name!) was booked, and despite the suggestion of our dingbat coordinator, I chose NOT to ship my precious harvested DNA via Fed Ex.

Here’s where Vince Flynn comes into play. I realize that Dean (a criminology major at U. of Minnesota) in a parallel universe could be a CIA field officer. So I assigned him the task or transporting our six unborn children up the Peninsula in a 7-hour timeframe.

In fact, at zero hours, I wrote him an email with subject line, Blackhawk 5 – Do You Copy? – and this note:

Agent DGZ,

In this confidential Wednesday mission, you’ve been assigned the task of transporting your family jewels (GENOMES) between three high-tech medical facilities in the San Francisco Bay Area. 

A list of sourcing, times and locations are attached. Your first point of contact is Nitro-Derm where a cryogenic dewar charged with liquid nitrogen awaits. 

Please know that your wife Lieutenant McTwisty loves you immensely despite some of your undercover bathroom grenades.

And in the middle of Operation FCT: Agent DGZ sent me confirmation via iPhone photo:

Who knew that when we purchased our Infiniti in 2009, it would seat six so comfortably in the backseat? I’m glad he buckled them in for safety.

So – the operation was successful. We hope. We’ll know more when our children are unthawed in under two weeks.

Till then ~

Mother of 7