5 is my lucky number. I was born in month 5 on a day divisible by 5. My birth year also ends in 5. I met my husband on Cinco de Mayo. And we chose day 5 of a cold chilly month to say “I do” in the Mexican heat.

Now it’s our 5-year wedding anniversary. I remember that day so vividly – when Dean and I stood at the edge of the Caribbean Sea. The wind blasting the train of my gown under a gauzy gazebo.

There we were a couple of gringos, squinty, yet starry eyed, full of wonder.

I married my tall German drink of water for many reasons, like: A) He always told the truth. B) I knew he loved me deeply, and C) I knew he’d make a fantastic father. These things were a given. I was also attracted to his wit and intellectualism. Plus, he makes a ridiculous omelet.

But along with virtue comes fault, and when it comes to dishing compliments, this goes against the grain of his sarcastic nature.

So when we checked into the Clift Hotel in SF on Saturday night to celebrate the big ‘5’, and we found they left this on our pillow instead of chocolate…

I had to laugh my ass off.

Good ol’ Mark Twain. Wordcandy from the epistolary heavens. All to commemorate year 5.

Ironically, I used to date men that showered me in compliments. Growing up, sarcasm was not tolerated – my mother endured verbal abuse as a kid. So this carved my way in the dating world. I clung to meaningless, misguided words that sparkled like counterfeit gems.

I once heard from a wise, respected sage that every relationship is constantly changing. It’s on a continuum to “better”, or more “bitter”. It’s one or the other, and there is no in between.

I think back to where Dean and I were five years ago. We had all the time in the world for one another. We had 18 holes of golf, quiet hikes in the Evergreens, lulling concerts at the vineyard.

And today, with a toddler, we fight to finish our sentences. If Dean calls me from downstairs, our 2-year old calls back in rapid, high octane jibberish. There is always a diaper to be changed, a crash to be avoided, a food spill to be cleaned. So we make assumptions about each other’s actions with little to no information.

We have our seasons just like anyone else. And I’ve come to realize it’s about managing expectations, and then managing the tangible, domestic everyday things.

We are working on getting out more together, just the two of us. We are leaning on friends to watch our little guy without family nearby.

I am grateful for love in my life, for the commitment to stand by each other, to share the joy of togetherness, and raise a beautiful little soul.

Each and every day, there are so many things to be grateful for. I just have to remember, it’s always a choice to alter your perspective.

So if I may ask, without sounding too much like a pundit in a cheesy self-help book – what are you grateful for today??